Getting all the right people involved to get the right strategy for your autistic kid

Elijah has moderate autism. He’s 12 and in the seventh grade. He goes to a special education class at the public middle school. Elijah has figured out that if he creates enough chaos, he will get sent home. This has created a loop, where anytime he wants to leave where he’s at, he creates an issue. Sometimes it’s biting, throwing things, headbutting, etc. Because this tactic has worked in the past, it was a rewarded behavior and has created unwanted continued behavior patterns.

So, what do we do? We rally the troops. If your child has an autism diagnosis you will have services available to you based on their need. Typically, a state care coordinator will work with you to get you on all kinds of lists for future services as well as more immediate ones. Most decent size school districts will have a BCBA, usually just one, assigned to oversee all special education situations. Elijah has a BCBA therapist that creates plans for him as well. Elijah’s mother gathered the troops for a meeting to get everyone on the same page.

Job one was that no matter what, Elijah can not get sent home when he acts out. Sending Elijah home just rewards the bad behavior. The better alternative is finding him a safe place where he can’t hurt anyone nor destroy anything of value. His school was accommodating by providing that room. When Elijah starts his behavior, he is removed from other people and placed in that room. He eventually calms himself down as he realizes his behaviors are not garnering the attention he seeks.

Job two is how do we decrease the behavior moving forward. Well, the first way is for him not to be rewarded for it, as mentioned above. Secondly, we now drop off Elijah at 8:05 am. His school starts at 8:00 am. This allows virtually empty hauls for Elijah to enter the building and decreases the risk of other students at the school being impacted by a behavior incident. Finally, we try positive reinforcement. When Elijah walks in with no behavior issues, he’s rewarded with a piece of candy. This is a small incentive that can be removed once the habit is in place.

So, what does teamwork have to do with this? Elijah is a sweet boy that exhibits unwanted behaviors typically for a specific reaction. We needed to get his BCBA, his teacher, his school district BCBA, and his mother on a call to discuss the situation and how to attack it. Having Elijah not go to school rewards him for his destructive behavior and hurts his ability to be educated. So a plan was devised by Elijah’s team to make sure his unwanted behaviors are addressed appropriately.

Teamwork when raising autistic kids is critical. It’s easy as a parent to feel alone and hopeless, but I promise there are others that care about you and your child. Lean on them. Talk to them. Ask them for help. Don’t wait, get them on the phone and get a strategy. Your child’s behaviors are because of the autism, not because of anything you did as a parent. Remember that.