Getting up when you’re down

I’ve done it many times.  I skip a workout, I don’t shave, I don’t spend any spiritual time, I don’t put in a solid effort at work, I eat too much junk, or I just plain let myself go a little.  I do this all under the guise of “my life is too hard because of my kid’s autism” or “I don’t have the energy because the needs of my children seem extreme.”  The reality that I should be saying is “I feel sorry for myself and I’m going to give up for a little bit.”  I don’t care if your children are special needs or not, we can let ourselves fall into these traps of “I deserve this” or “I can’t handle this” or “I’ll do it in the future.”  Children see that.  They will model that.  Cut that shit out.  If you want to be a leader for your kids, your significant other, your coworkers, etc.  Learn to lead yourself daily and pick yourself out of self pity.  Lead yourself better to lead your kids best.

When I get into the “funk” of feeling sorry for myself and letting things slip that shouldn’t, it’s time for me to regroup. I must change my attitude, mindset, and sometimes my motivations. The below list are things that help me dig out.

1. Remember that life is good, God is good, my kids are made exactly as God intended, and I have purpose.

2. Let go of any passed sadness, trauma, or emotional anchors that might be dragging me down.  I’ve spoken to counselors before.  You may need that too.  They can be helpful and necessary in this step to help your mind understand your feelings.  They can also give tools to help overcome things that seem insurmountable.  

3. Don’t do it alone.  I’m blessed to have a sister that I can talk to and a father who is available when needed.  Not everyone has that.  Find support outside of counseling. Whether that’s friends, family, or therapy groups.  Get that crap dealt with and out of you so you can be the best you for your kids.

4. Refocus on priorities.  Getting lost in the weeds is a sure way to take energy away from what’s important.  I’m going to be cheesy here but there’s a line in a Carrie Underwood song that always makes me think.  She sings “Sometimes that mountain you’ve been climbing is just a grain of sand. What you’ve been out there searching for forever is in your hands. When you figure out love is all that matters after all it sure makes everything else seem so small.”

5. Just do something productive.  Clean, exercise, read, go out with friends, etc.  Do something that when you’re done, you’re glad you did it.  We were made to work, not wallow in our thoughts and aimlessly watch tv.  Even if you have no motivation, do it.  Your self-esteem will benefit.

Look, I’m not a psychiatrist.  I just know that humans need to fill their souls with joy and good things.  Productivity is key in that.  If you do nothing you get nothing.  Lead yourself better to lead your kids best.