How I deal with my boy’s fits while driving
Autistic fits in the car can be incredibly dangerous. When one of my boys starts the other one will often jump in too, then I’ve got a situation that can really pull my attention from the road. If your child is in the back and they start to throw a fit, calming them while driving is usually not an option unless there happens to be a song that you can put on, or if they’ll listen when you tell them to breathe. Mine are not soothed by song nor will they breathe deep when I tell them to in their fit state.
The key is safety. I have the child locks on my back door, I’ve been driving in the past where my boys have started in on a fit and tried to open the doors. This is scary. While I understand the risks involved with not allowing my kids to get out of the back seat, the risk of them jumping out is much higher. I also have locks on the back windows that I control from my driver seat. This means no matter how loud and how bad the fit is, those boys aren’t getting out. They have tried to climb to the front, but I can play pretty good defense until I can get stopped to prevent that.
Elijah is my son more prone to car fits. If I’m taking a different way somewhere and not going his expected route it can sometimes start. Fit prevention is the best remedy, so I try to make sure he knows where I’m going and when we’ll be home. Sometimes that doesn’t matter though, and he revs up. If I can catch it early, sometimes I can ask for his hand and give him squeezes. About half the time this will settle him down a little. If it doesn’t help, then it becomes about safety. I can drive with a screaming kid, if that kid isn’t hurting himself or others in the car. If that starts to happen, it’s time to pull over.
If I must pull over, which is rare, I will open his door and lay on him like a human blanket. This will usually comfort him a little. I then try to understand the cause of the fit, if I know the cause I’ll try and fix it. If not, which happens a lot, I will negotiate. I’ll promise something fun if he settles down, then I’ll go over the schedule that includes that fun activity. I realize during autistic fits in the car, it may seem more logical to punish the child then reward them but punishing in this scenario will prolong the fit and likely not yield the result I’m looking for, which is to get safely back on the road.
Autistic fits in the car are tough. I’ve driven my boys to school when they are screaming bloody murder and banging their heads on the seat in front of them. Not enough to hurt themselves of course. Like many fits, if you can drive on safely then try to do that and realize the fit will eventually stop. If the child is causing an issue and driving is no longer safe, you must get off the road for yourself and others protection. This is just my experience and how I handle things, it does not in anyway mean it’s the best or right way, but it works for us. How do you deal with autistic fits in the car?